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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Ed Kociela's Thoughts....

The word is out, the Tawdry Lifestyle Channel, once named The Learning Channel, or, now, TLC for short, is adding yet more polygamy programming to its lineup.
It will, according to a piece in the New York Post, start broadcasting
"breaking The Faith" and "Escaping the Prophet," both, as The Post breathlessly recounts, intend to "blow the lid" off of the controversial FLDS church. 
Now, The Post has always been one of the liveliest papers in the country.
The front page of this bustling tab always goes big on photos and has been the home of some of the most incredible headlines in newspaper history, including one of my favorites: “Headless Body in Topless Bar.” I was a pretty fair headline writer in my day, coming up with such gems as “Bloody Mess for Red Cross,” which went above a piece about a PR failure by the agency when it found itself in the midst of a tainted blood scandal. But, I never came close to the cleverness of The Post.
Just before Thanksgiving we’ll get “Breaking The Faith,” a show about eight young men and women who were either tossed out of the FLDS group or escaped. A few weeks later, we will get a show called “Escaping The Prophet,” based on the life of Flora Jessop, who broke free when she was just 16. She, by the way, has a younger sister, Ruby, who also recently escaped.
We’ll get to see six episodes of each show.
It will be interesting to see how TLC handles these shows. Until now, it has been very sympathetic to the practice of polygamy, pretty well setting up Kody Brown, his wife, and his three mistresses as nothing more than some innocent kids practicing an alternative lifestyle. The network has another show in its fledgling stages called “My Five Wives,” which offers another family involved in plural marriage.
I highly suspect that there will be little connection of the dots here.
You see, the two new shows will aim at Warren Jeffs and his FLDS church, which he still runs from behind bars in a Texas prison where he is serving a life-plus sentence after being convicted on two counts of child rape for marrying a 12- and 14-year-old girl.
Jeffs is the self-proclaimed prophet of the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), which has members along the Utah-Arizona state line; in Eldorado, Texas; Pringle, South Dakota, Mancos, Colorado; Bountiful, British Columbia, Canada; Ensenada, Baja California Norte, Mexico, and elsewhere.
The two new shows will, undoubtedly, be viewed as the negative side of polygamy as a result of Jeffs’ actions and others who have been convicted of crimes against children, with the FLDS, no doubt, positioned as the “bad polygamists.”
The Browns?
They will continue to be promoted as the “good polygamists.”
There’s a problem with this, however.
The Browns come from the Apostolic United Brethren, a fundamentalist Mormon sect located primarily in northern Utah.
Their roots, however – like almost every single Mormon fundamentalist group – are in what is called the Short Creek community, the twin cities of Hildale, Utah and Colorado City, Arizona, where Jeffs rose to power.
There were several splits in a series of power and leadership disputes that splintered the original fundamental polygamists who settled in the area – a place that Brigham Young, perhaps the most well-known LDS prophet and president, said would one day be “The head, and not the tail, of the church.”
It will be interesting to see how TLC addresses all of this, if it tackles the subject at all.
You see, the AUB is nothing more than FLDS-North.
I know former AUB members who tell harrowing tales that are just as tragic and sickening as those that have been told by former FLDS members. But, we have seen none of that raised in “Sister Wives,” because the network has chosen to sanitize it all.
Really, we cannot expect anything different from the new shows, which will, undoubtedly, not establish the link between the Browns, the AUB, and the FLDS.
We’ve seen TLC allow Brown to shrug it all off as a “lifestyle” choice, seen him express little reason or background into his world, seen the women in fanciful, farcical situations.
Cynical?
Maybe.
But reality TV has a way these days of making you look at it all in realistic terms.

My expectations are pretty low at this point.

Written by Ed Kociela

110 comments:

  1. I would love a recap on when/how the AUB splintered from the FLDS and also Christine's relationship to the prophet of the AUB church...

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    1. The AUB came out of Short Creek (the twin cities of Hildale, Utah and Colorado City, Arizona, which sit side-by-side on the Utah-Arizona state line.) The fundamentalists were one large group back in the first half of the 1900s. They viewed themselves as the true church because they did not make the concession to forego plural marriage as a part of Utah's acceptance to statehood. Rulon Allred came to power as the head of the group in 1951, which caused a rift among the fundamentalists because he was not universally accepted by the fundamentalists. Finally, it got so bad that Allred too his followers and moved to northern Utah where they assembled as the Apostolic United Brethren. Meanwhile, the remainder stayed in Short Creek, to be known as the FLDS. It's pretty much the same thing as what happened between the FLDS and Centennial Park group, which splintered off because of a leadership dispute. However, after Allred took his group north, there was another fundamentalist group led by Ervil LeBaron. There was contention between the two groups and LeBaron ordered one of his followers to shoot and kill Allred, which she did.

      The factions of fundamentalism come just as in other religions and, usually, it is leadership, not doctrine that drive them apart.

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    2. Rulon Allred did not move to northern Utah. He already lived there as did Rulon Jefffs, later to be FLDS prophet. Something else Id like to say is about the split which became AUB and FLDS. There was a man named Joseph Lyman Jessop. He a son of Joseph Smith Jessop. JSP was a founding father of Short Creek and father to all the polygamist Jessop's. K, back then Lyman J. He lived close to SLC. He had a 15 year old daughter, who went to Short Creek for a dance. Upon her return, she informed her father that she had gotten married while down there. Lyman J was furious. He felt that is should not have happened without his approval. His own father and brother were for the marriage and my have even arranged it. This a big reason why Lyman J chose to follow Rulon Allred. He was the only Jessop to do so. Hence all the AUB Jessops are his descendants. Coincidently, he did agree for Rulon Allred to marry another daughter of his. She was 15.

      Aint that just a kick in the pants? LOL

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    3. Hello Anon,
      Actually, Rulon Allred was in Short Creek and was jailed during the 1953 raid. When he got out of jail, he went to Mexico. He came from SLC and was a homeopathic doctor there at one time.

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  2. Honestly, I'm bored with the FLDS and plyg story line. I'd appreciate it more if there was a way one of these "channels" could do a Menonite family story or even (I hope we could see one) an Amish family. I know that sounds horrible because both shun technology, appreciate privacy, and aren't fame hungry plygs - but I think I'd actually learn more from watching it. :)

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    1. I have just finished Elissa Wall's book "Stolen Innocence" and I feel compelled to post on this blog this afternoon. I'm still trying to absorb the impact from reading it. At the time when Elissa'sbook was published, her mother's whereabouts, as well as her two little sisters, were unknown. Does anyone know if this is still the case? Her story was crushing to read, but I applaud her spirit and strength, particularly as she bravely faced down Jeffs' legal team and his supporters in court. I can only imagine her despair about her mother and two sisters remaining within the FLDS.

      When I learned that Jeffs has ordered---from jail---that FLDS children are only supposed to be fed twice a day, and the meals could ONLY consist of beans and milk, I was outraged. The FLDS community in Colorado City, AZ received $27 MILLION worth of federal aid in just TWENTY MONTHS. I don't like to use caps, but I'm capping those 3 words to make a point. Children, in a community that is receiving that level of assistance, who are subsisting on 2 portions of beans and milk/day are clearly being systematically abused by malnourishment and starvation.

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    2. Part 2 of my comment:
      Boredom. I'm bored by the Browns. There are 4 women who have decided to stay w/ Kody Brown b/c they believe that in order to achieve Celestial Glory, they must adhere to the doctrine of Joseph Smith. Those beliefs are deeply ingrained, and 3 of the women have invested the majority of their lives w/ this man. They've had the opportunity to declare their religious beliefs in an honest way, but they are adhering to the rules/regulations of the powers who control the AUB, keeping it all hushed up. I hope their children choose other paths that allow them to express themselves and the freedom to search out their own truths. I will never again watch "Sister Wives." The 5 adults are deceitful and contrived.

      As far as the Williams family is concerned, the "twist" of their family saga for TLC appears to be that they have truly freed themselves from the religious constraints imposed by fundamentalist Mormonism. If that is truly the case, then there's one selfish guy w/ a healthy libido who gets to bed 5 women whenever he wants w/o any of the women being able to say boo about it. I don't want them abusing taxpayers by getting food stamps, welfare, etc. when this is clearly a choice they have made to have one legal wife and four single mothers. I won't be watching, however. I hope others will follow suit. The only thing that networks pay attention to is the viewers who tune in so that they can sell the show to advertisers. If their ratings are poor, companies will sell their products on shows that receive higher ratings. So, we all vote w/ our eyes.

      As I have reflected about the "Sister Wives" show over the past 3 weeks or so, I am convinced that there was a very contrived effort, very likely on Kody Brown's part, to persuade the AUB to grant him the chance to present a lemonade & sugar cookies (pun intended) version of polygamy to TLC. After all, consider that this all happened within a few years after Warren Jeffs was captured, had his trial, plus the international news about FLDS compound in TX that was raided, etc. It also happened right after HBO's "Big Love" wrapped up. There is a lot of information out there that Kodi and Meri Brown were obsessed with that show. Even w/ the dividing lines b/w the various sects of fundamentalist Mormons, I'm sure that having the Brown family distract viewers w/ their very sanitized version of polygamy has helped to reduce the nasty glare on what's going on in some of those communities. (Just read some of the posts on the SW Facebook page or the cloyingly sweet comments on the TLC site to see what I mean about the public being persuaded that they're just wonderful, dear people who have been so horribly persecuted for their religious beliefs.)

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    3. Part 3:

      I am convinced there is still severe abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual) going on in all of those polygamy communities, in addition to the malnourishment/starvation as a result of Warren Jeffs' edict to the FLDS from jail. The AUB, the Kingston group, and other plyg groups are still out there thriving behind closed walls. That's why I'm personally very grateful to Ed and Cara Kociela, Kristyn Decker, Kollene Snow, Willy Steed, Christine Marie, and ex AUB who have enlightened us so much on the SW blog. I will keep reading the books and the threads about the serious issues, in addition to engaging in the lighter moments on this blog.


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    4. Giltee Guilt, did you see this post on the Bean Diet? http://sisterwivesblog.blogspot.com/2013/03/warren-jeffs-bean-fast-orders.html

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    5. GG,
      I am not sure if Elissa Wall has been reunited with her mother and I would hate to make a guess.

      I was the City Editor of the local newspaper at the time of the Jeffs trial and I distinctly recall that prosecutors were concerned about her actually testifying. She was very shaken by it all, a frightened young woman who was really going against all she had been brought up to believe in. Plus, there was a worldwide audience -- seriously, we had reporters from the BBC here alongside CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, the local affiliates from Las Vegas and Salt Lake, the national news folks, print, radio, you name it -- converging on the courthouse about three blocks away from our newspaper office. It was a zoo. That she pulled it together was remarkable.

      The thing is, there are worse stories out there than hers.

      Look, as far as what I have been told by those who got out, the abuses in the other polygamous groups, with the exception of the Centennial Park group, are just as great, they just haven't had as many arrests or as high a profile as Warren Jeffs.

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    6. What is it about the Centennial Park group that is different?

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    7. I just went to the link you provided, Mister Sister, and I'm even more distressed than I was before b/c I thought the kids were at least receiving milk, too, but it's just beans & water for breakfast and dinner, and no lunch. %$##!@!@*#@#*!!!!!!!!!!!! It was very effective when Warren Jeffs' daily menu in prison for all 3 meals was read aloud. All the important food groups for him, and plenty of it! Those poor kids!!

      Ed, thanks for writing. Knowing that there are even worse stories than Elissa's just sickens me.

      I don't know how many people read this blog, but I'm glad that the information about these abuses in polygamous communities is being disseminated.

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    8. Giltee Guilt: Your three part post said everything that is in my brain, but so much more eloquently. I feel the same way you do, and refuse to support in any way the Browns, the Williams, or TLC as long as they are trying to feed the public their bullshit. I look at Ed Kociela as a newsman from days gone by, when news was truth and not spin. Ed, do you remember the old reality tv show called "On the Road with Charles Kurault". Everyone has a story and he traveled across the US and told the stories of every day people he encountered. It was the best "reality" show I ever saw.

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    9. Thanks so much for your kind words, OMW.

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    10. OrangeMeri Whine,
      What a coincidence; I thought about "On the Road with Charles Kurault" just the other day while wondering why 'good tv' like that doesn't exist anymore. The quality of that show was remarkable as was Mr. Kurault himself!

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    11. Hello OMW,
      Yes, I do remember the show. It was very well done and was deep in credibility. Kurault sought out real stories of everyday people. He didn't get caught up in the celebrity interview stuff of today and found interesting pieces or Americana. Yes...a great show.

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    12. It was a great show and I miss it. Ironically, Charles Kurault had two "wives". I recall it coming out after he died that he had a second, secret "wife" or family, a living two lives thing.

      Delete
  3. I hadn't thought about it till now, but the Browns saying they are living a polygamious "lifestyle" doesn't necessarily mean a thing! I see little to no religion in their family. They throw in their "church services" once in awhile for show, but I don't believe it's really a daily part of their lives. It seems the show is just a married man with his mistresses living on the same street. What's sad is their kids have been brought up hearing that's it's a religious choice, but as they get older I bet they see that their moms are getting short changed. It's no wonder the majority of them say they won't live this "lifestyle". It does nothing to make the women's lives better. It just feeds Kody's huge ego.

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    1. Hello Crimson,
      I think Kody Brown is much more aligned with the AUB than he puts on. I think, however, that TLC finds it more interesting from a viewer's perspective to leave a lot of the religious overtones out because that could get tedious. So, Kody does his "lifestyle" spiel, while at the same time bringing up, now and then, religious references. It's confusing and another example of how scattered and unfocused the show is.

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    2. I would really love to hear Meri explain what she means by "It [living this lifestyle] just makes each of us better." In what way?
      -Elaine

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    3. That makes sense, I think there is probably alot we don't know about the "real" Brown family. Their 5 minutes of fame has gone to their heads so we are now seeing them in a totally different way than the 1st season. I actually liked them better when the show started. Everyone had specific roles and although the lifestyle isn't one I would live, it seemed to work for them.
      Now it's a game of who has the most and it's getting unbearable to watch. I had the episodes on dvr to watch when I ran out of anything else to watch, and I got through them, but I think this was my last year to watch. I enjoy their kids, but the adults have ran their course with me.
      I live a pretty boring life, but it's more interesting than anything I saw this season~~

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    4. I think you've nailed it, Ed.

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    5. If TLC leaves out the religious aspect because they think ridiculous fluff will be found more interesting, that seems stupid. The religious background is much more interesting, I think. It's why I'm more interested in Polygamy USA or the flds. Calling it a lifestyle is weird. Without being compelled by religion, why would anyone do it? I guess there are guys with a number of overlapping baby-mamas. But I never get the impression the women are happy about the situation.

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  4. Absolutely agree with you Ed. The FLDS TV shows will just be met by polygamists like the Dargers, Browns, and Williams with the response - "We're not Warren Jeffs" - which isn't saying much, and acts as a smokescreen for what these other versions of polygamy actually ARE. They're hoping to look good by comparison, and also hoping that no one asks any hard hitting questions. You're right - there really isn't any "good polygamy."

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    1. Hello ex-AUB,
      You know, I understand exactly what you are saying. I see it in all parts of life. I mean nothing makes me angrier than to hear a parent compliment their child by saying, "Well, at least they're not in a gang." Kids are not SUPPOSED to be in gangs, so why praise or reward them for doing what is right and decent? Same thing here. People are not SUPPOSED to act like Warren Jeffs. To not act like Jeffs is EXPECTED BEHAVIOR! (sorry for the caps, but it frosts me!)

      Bottom line?

      They spring from the same seed, literally and figuratively.

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    2. Abusing children was never part of the doctrine. And looking at things like marrying young in the beginning of the 20th century, and comparing that to today isn't fair. Times have changed, in most parts of the country anyway. And things like child abuse and incest are generally kept secret by perpetrators in any community. I don't know much about the AUB, but feel badly for Centennial Paark folks. And sometimes I wish I had a Sisterwife... Just a little bit..

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  5. There's a reason TLC is turning to all these silly reality shows--they're cheap to produce, and there's no end of people willing to let the cameras into their homes for the right price.

    I don't think the FLDS stuff that focuses on old geezers taking young teenagers as wives can last long due to the ick factor. Back in the early days of the founding of Utah, Brigham Young ordered that boys of 15 and girls of 13 should be encouraged to marry so while this offends us, it's part of their tradition. And the more prominent men got the pick of the litter so to speak in choosing the pretty young girls for themselves.

    I doubt these new shows will have stars who are as charismatic as Kody Brown who is a natural salesman. Polygamy City or whatever it's called is a total snooze fest.....

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    1. Hello Hayley,
      Let's see how much rein they give the people in these shows. I know something about them and will be watching intently to see how this all goes down. Won't say anything yet because I don't want to influence anybody's opinions -- either pro or con -- going into the new shows.

      I will say, however, that the most impressive person I have seen on any of the shows or news reports is Rebecca Musser. She carried herself well. An intelligent, credible young woman.

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  6. Amy. AUB and the FLDS were one group before the the FLDS started calling themselves that. There was a struggle over leadership back in the 40s at the time when the "President" or "prophet" was Joseph Musser. Musser had a stroke and there were questions about him ordaining and elevating Christine's grandfather, Rulon Allred. Eventually Musser released the entire priesthood council and called a new one, with himself and Rulon at the head. The old priesthood council claimed Joseph Musser's faculties were impaired by his stroke, and that he didn't know what he was doing and was being manipulated by Rulon Allred. They continued on with John Y Barlow at their head down in Short Creek, and then LeRoy Johnson. They say that AUB split from them, and AUB claims it was the other way around. AUB also claims that the split was partly over underage "marriages" which makes them sound morally superior, but since Rulon Allred had two 15 year old girls as "wives" I don't think this holds water. The "split" as it is known broke many families apart as they wrangled over who had "authority." Even though they went their separate ways, there was a huge outpouring of support for the FLDS from AUB at the time of the Texas "raid." It seems polygamists stick together no matter what, which explains the Principle Rights Coalition of polygamist groups that includes the Kingstons who are known to be violent and to practice incest.

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    1. ex-AUB thank you very much for that very informative answer. I have long wondered when the split occurred and why.

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    2. Hello ex-AUB,
      There is a connectivity between the groups to this day as they trade little girls from community to community to marry off to the older men.,

      You summed it up well in your last sentence.

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    3. Mocksy's grandfather married two 15 year olds?!?! Yeah right, she had this wonderful childhood. How could that be a secret? How could that not feel super-yuck for a granddaughter?

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    4. Yikes. It is so much to take in......

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    5. Thanks to everyone for sharing all of this historical information. I'm new to the blog and the issues, and it's great to hear from people knowledgable about the facts. So are the Browns and Dargers et al. really sort of renegades or splintered into their own, what you might say more liberal/progressive family units, in that they're against the forced child bride aspect and other aspects, or do the Browns still consider themselves part of the AUB? Is this what the Browns refer to when they say they are separated from their church b/c of where they live now? I'm reading here that AUB exploits children, even in concert with FLDS, and I'm trying to understand if that's the same group Kody/TLC would have us believe takes no part in such things. TLC has really done nothing to provide facts to viewers, either historic or present day information. Three years watching SW and nothing real learned. The network is a waste.

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  7. I've realized how naiive I've been thinking that the AUB is so much "better" than the FLDS. But reading this blog has really opened my eyes on how much more alike they are, than different. I'm very curious about learning more about Christine's grandfather who started up the AUB.

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  8. "But reality TV has a way these days of making you look at it all in realistic terms."

    Ed, therein lies the question and speculation of TLC adding even more Plyg shows.

    We know that Plyg shows are a hot commodity right now. Just like the array of Amish shows and any of the "Housewives" are producing solid ratings and sponsor cash.

    We can only hope that Flora Jessop has negotiated legal rights to not allow any manipulating creative editing or phony scripting of her story. Same with the "Breaking the Faith" cast.
    Time will tell.

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    1. Hello Amused,
      We will have to see how it turns out.

      Quite honestly, TLC holds all the cards in negotiations like these.

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    2. That's what worries me, too. I hate to think that these folks who have already suffered so greatly will be further exploited by the TLC.

      I hope they were advised to have excellent legal representation throughout the entire negotiation process, and I hope even more that they acted upon that advice.

      Delete
    3. Ed, your statement: "Quite honestly, TLC holds all the cards in negotiations like these." leaves me with a lot of worry about the new shows - as well as SW.

      Recently parts of a contract for one of the Housewives shows was posted online. It was for non-regular castmembers but the wording is basically the same for all HW shows (as well as most reality show contracts). To paraphrase the contract, you're signing away all of your rights to control anything after it's filmed and giving the network carte blanche to manipulate anything you say or do to suit the network's purposes. For example, you might say, "yes" to the question 'is the sun shining?' and the network has the right to edit your 'yes' onto the question 'are you cheating on your husband?' and then build a storyline on the cheating. Opinions on blogs were that the participants were so driven to be on the show that they didn't care about the implications of the contract until it was too late.

      I wonder, have the Browns signed similar contracts? How close are TLC contracts to those of Bravo TV HW contracts? How much more is TLC manipulating the show than what we've noticed, such as when Robyn looked at her phone and told Kody, 'now they're calling you a misogynist pig', or the bathroom incident or the panel discussion or the drama about the home purchases.

      "Reality" TV makes me ill. I so hope people like Rebecca Musser haven't fallen prey to network tactics like this.

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    4. Hello Anon,
      I really could not tell you what is in the TLC contract. But, I guarantee that they have full creative control and freedom. Kody, his wife and mistresses have no juice, no power to demand things. They are pawns, paid well enough to take good care of themselves, but not big enough stars to make real demands. Plus, God knows what they do in front of the cameras.

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    5. Ed - that's what I've always said. I mean, where else are the Browns going to go? Any other TV networks dangling a juicy contract in front of them? Nope. They're merely curiosities and another show in the largely tasteless TLC programming. (the one exception is "The Little Couple" IMO.)

      I'm sure that TLC (or more likely the production companies who submit show concepts/pilots to the network) has several other new shows waiting in the wings, they are just waiting for the old shows to die off, then whammo we get something new...and the Browns will be cast aside as old news.

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    6. All reality show contracts read that way now. Long gone are the days reality Tv was confused with documentaries. Reality Tv is for entertainment.

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  9. I agree that the new shows will focus on Jeff's group while Kody continues to pretend he's the good polygamist who's just hanging out living a plural lifestyle because he wanted to. No AUB ties or fundamental mormon talk will ever be coming out of the Brown cult-de-sac because that's not the story they want to sell.

    I know the "Five Wives" folks have said they left the AUB but does anyone know how recently and how long they were involved?

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    1. Another question I would like to know the answer to is: Why did they leave?

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    2. Hello Boston Corgi,
      Can't answer the "Five Wives" part, but I would wager that TLC takes every opportunity to prop Kody Brown up and loudly state: "We're not like Warren Jeffs...We're not like the FLDS...We don't do that!" It's a way for the network to buff up Brown's image and add zip to what Flora says, further enhancing the concept of "good" and "bad" polygamists.

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    3. Boston Corgi & Anon,

      I put some stuff near the bottom of the comments for you on the Williams family.

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    4. Just had a flashback of Christine's red face exclaiming, "I didn't know men could be such bastards!"

      Huh???? Maybe in her next life, Christine might return as an ostrich.

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    5. Lmao!! ...GG that's hilarious & since she likes keeping her head" buried in the sand" on issues I do believe being an ostrich would suit her well in the next life :)

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  10. Anything has to be better than watching the Browns. I'd like to see the Tawdry Lifestyle Channel drop Sister Wives and maybe just do a once-a-year special so I can see how the kids are getting along. BTW, I like the way you write, Ed.

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    1. Hello Anonymous,
      Thanks for the compliment! It is nice to know that the words we try to string together as writers are appreciated, or at least understood. It makes it all so worthwhile.

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    2. I also would like to see TLC drop the Browns. They think that they are stars. For doing what? Sleeping with 4 women and having tons of kids. They have not done a damn thing to warrant star status. I like this blog but I really wish for the Brown gravy train to end. I am sick and tired of how Kody acts. He thinks that he is entitled. These women agreed to this lifestyle and I do not consider them wives. The kids don't have a choice. I don't feel sorry for these women. They know what they are doing and they agree with Kody. IMHO, these women are crazy and stupid to live like this. I know that it is their choice to live like this, I just don't want to see it on tv. I really don't care what Kody does with his bed mates. It bothers me that they are on tv and so many people feel that this is ok. It bothers me that so many young women are getting the wrong image of polygamy. Polygamy will never be legal. There are too many variables to consider. Making it legal would be a nightmare and the costs would be too great. The government would have a hard time with the rules and regulations. TLC is probably trying real hard to come up with new story lines to keep their fans interested. Sister Wives fans are nuts. These women are lost souls. If they want to be booty call #5, they definitely have some screws loose. To each his own, but to say that they find Kody attractive makes me vomit. Who wants sloppy 5ths. Gross. Kody is the only one getting his rocks off. End the madness.

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  11. Well, if nothing else, "Sister Wives" has brought the polygamy issue more to the forefront--however, I'm unsure if that is good or bad. It is good because it sheds light on despicable goings-on, on the other hand, it starts bringing out voices wondering if polygamy (or any plural "marriage") should be legitimized in some way---which I think is a terrible idea. It would be a nightmare in family courts---which already have enough daily drama. It would also be a nightmare in the areas of probate (wills and estates, social security benefits, etc. etc.). What a mess THAT would be. I

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  12. Ed, Thank you for this blog post. I find myself agreeing with you once again.
    I'm very skeptical about the motives and legitimacy of any program in the 'reality' tv genre and thanks to the way TLC has handled their role in it, I find my expectations for their new shows to be very low, also. I notice myself watching 'reality' tv shows with a critical eye out for discrepancies, drama for drama's sake, and editing to go along with a producer's storyline.

    Bring back the honest documentaries!

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    1. Hello Anonymous,
      I would settle for a truly funny sitcom!

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    2. TLC- The Loony Channel. They do tend to dramatize things a bit to add interest I think. But I'll keep watching. I do like the kids. They seem to be nice young people.

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  13. Tawdry Lifestyle Channel......hee hee

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  14. Ed, do you know if Flora or her sister are involved with the shows? If the shows stay true to actual events then I would love to watch them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, Flora is involved with Escaping the Faith and I for one am excited about it! Here's pictures of filming! http://sisterwivesblog.blogspot.com/2013/09/tlc-tackling-controversial-flds.html

      Delete
    2. Hello Anonymous,
      Yes, Flora is involved. Final cut decisions are always the domain of the producers.

      Delete
  15. I've read the books of Joanne Hanks, Krysten Decker, Rebecca Musser and I am now 30 pages into Flora Jessop's book and honestly don't know how much more I can stand to read. I've watched Sister Wives from the beginning, and understand exactly why Sobbin has made herself so unpopular, but after reading all this I can't imagina anyone not believing she was abused as she says she was. It seems most women in this religion are, no matter the sect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do I think Robyn was abused? Don't know... maybe... but she LIES so much it is hard for me to believe anything she says at this point. She has proven she is a liar and a manipulator. Women who escape an abuser don't USUALLY put the front of their houses on international television, either.

      She appears to be concerned about custody, but the character assassination of her ex can not go her way. Don't the courts there take a dim view of that?? Perhaps it is all public record and he has been charged and convicted- I don't know. I can't see a woman doing anything to incur the wrath of their abuser especially when children are involved.

      So it's not that I don't believe her when she says she was abused. I don't believe *anything* she says, anymore.

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    2. Two points on that (taken from the books) - first, all of these people are trained to lie from the time they are children. Second, some of the escapees use media attention (like putting the front of their house on international television) as insurance that they will be left alone by their group - if there is attention, harassing them (or worse) is difficult. The books have really been an eye opener on some of the Browns negative behaviors - they appear to be part of their culture, and reinforce the overall thought on this blog that the Browns' form of polygamy is no better than any of the others. Just food for thought.

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    3. The problem with this whole thing is. . . Robyn didn't escape anything. She was raised AUB, is still AUB. And we all know from friends/relatives who have stated here, as well as from their divorce documents, that DPJ divorced HER.

      Delete
    4. From what I've read, escape is relative. And who divorced who is relative as well. I'm glad that I was motivated to move beyond "hey, let them do what they want, they're adults" to learning something about the background. Tonight, I am thankful beyond expression that I wasn't born in this culture.

      Delete
  16. I'm a polygamous wife and really tired of the whites only mormon theme shows. I'm white, my husband is black and my sister wife is from south America. We live in Philadelphia. Some diversity would make for more interesting programs. The lifestyle can be isolating. Lets see some families that break the mold.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OneWifeTwoWifeRedWifeBlueWifeOctober 2, 2013 at 1:12 AM

      interesting,,,, we are all under the impression that any male that is not Caucasian is not allowed to be the priesthood holder for the family. Does your family practice in a AUB/FLDS/ Mormon religion? If not I would like to know why you chose the "lifestyle"?

      Delete
    2. Hi Becky,

      Nice to hear from you! If you don't mind, I have a couple of questions.

      Are you polygamous due to a religion you belong to or because you felt it was just something that would work for you and your 2 partners?

      Do y'all have kids? I do agree that a polygamous lifestyle could very well be isolating, especially if you happen to live in a community or area that is fairly conservative. Are there other people you know in the Philadelphia area that are polygamists? it's probably hard to take people into your confidence and comfort zone wondering how they would react.

      Thanks for telling us a bit about your situation. The 3 of you definitely do break the mold of the white bread polygamist families TLC has shown us so far. I hope you comment here more in the future!

      Delete
    3. Hello Becky,
      Thank you for telling us about yourself. I hope you'll comment again! I'd love to hear of your different experiences and your perspective on the lifestyle since you've cracked the mold, so to speak, of the typical polygamous family, yourself.

      Delete
    4. It just felt right for our family. We have NO connection. To the mormon faith. My husband and I are Christians and my sister wife is Muslim. None of us are particularly religious. Philadelphia is not a conservative area. The isolation mostly comesfrom family who don't understand or approve. Yes, we have children. I have three and I'm done. My sister wife has two frpm her previous marriage. We struggle a lot if this is what we all want. If felt so right at the beginning but after two years we still question a lot. There is no talk of celestial planets lol. Ive met some other polygamous people near and Philly actually hosts a polygamy convention every year but I have yet to attend

      Delete
    5. Philly hosts a polygamy convention? More details!

      Delete
    6. Its called lovingmore. Polyliving polyamory conference. 2014 will be the 9th event.I think there are lots of people who are polygamous and quiet about it and I think there is a lot of Muslim based polygamy. Its not all about the prairie dress wearing mormons.ive watched sister wives from the first episode and big love before that. It gets old seeing only one segment in the media.
      .

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  17. For those that asked about My 5 Wives, here is a little more info:

    1997 New York Times article “A House, 10 Wives: Polygamy in Suburbia” featuring Brady Williams, who only had three wives at the time: Paulie, Robyn and rosemary. Here’s an excerpt from the article:

    Among polygamists themselves, however, philosophical variations remain, mostly regarding how much unity or separation should exist between so-called sister wives and their children. When Brady Williams, 27, a fundamentalist Mormon, designed a home south of Salt Lake City for his three wives, each 23, he took the separate-but-equal principle a step further than the Bakers did. The house is divided into three 1,900-square-foot apartments. Each wife has her own entrance, her own floor plan and her own furnishings. Mr. Williams, a framing contractor, bought three furnaces, three television sets and three refrigerators.

    ”It does get expensive,” he said. The only space the women share is a utility room for laundry and a family room. Mr. Williams keeps a few shirts in each apartment, and he rotates his meals and nights between wives, but the entire family eats together on Sunday. In a considerate gesture he designed the house so that no master bedroom is directly above, below or next to any other master bedroom.

    ”I believe the girls should have their own identity and place and not be mindless zombies,” he said, ”but want to work together at times, like when they’re canning fruit. I have really good wives. It works out.”

    Apparently so! It’s 16 years later and not only are all three of those marriages still going strong, but Brady’s got two more that seem to be working as well!

    My Five Wives airs Sunday, September 15 at 9/8c right after Sister Wives on TLC. (TLC is rather famous for their single episode “pseudo-pilots” that get turned into a full series if there is enough interest. So, we may be seeing more of the Brady Bunch on TLC before yo know it!)























































































































    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There have been a few changes to the William's family lifestyle since adding 2 wives. On the show the wives told how they each cook dinner for the family of 30 one night a week. They all eat together every night. Sunday is a potluck type arrangement with everyone contributing to the meal.
      They live on a two home compound outside SLC. The 2 homes are divided into five apartments. Each wife has her own kitchen and living space, plus her own bedroom and bedrooms for her own kids.

      They no longer teach Mormonism to their children, but they say they use teachings like Buddhism to instill moral values in their kids. Just like Kody is teaching his own version of Mormonism to his family, so are the Williams'.





      Delete
    2. I found some more info about the William's family:

      I thought this was interesting:
      "The women still have family members in the church who pray for them to repent and return. They haven't been ostracized by family and friends in the community, but town leaders have made it clear to Brady Williams, a former church leader, that they prefer the family leave town."

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/16/my-five-wives-tlc-buddhism_n_3934683.html

      I also read in a couple of places that the dad, Brady was a church leader before leaving (I wonder what position he held and how high up he was) and that they've been shunned.

      Is shunning in the Mormon church similar that with the Amish?

      Delete
    3. Shunning is a typical behaviour in cults.

      Delete
  18. This article says the Williams family "shunned" Mormonism in 2000 and slowly withdrew from their Fundamentalist church by the mid-2000s.

    http://js.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2421825/Its-fear-hell-promise-heaven-Polygamous-Mormons-tell-left-religion.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the info Funky Town,,,I'm still trying to figure this new family out!

      Delete
    2. You're welcome! I'm still trying to figure out how I got that huge blank spot in there, well along with figuring out the Williams!

      Delete
    3. they are disgusting, one of the so called wives called Brady a horn dog while they were sitting on the bed ..... real nice eeewwwwe

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  19. I had been wondering why the LDS hasn't been more involved in publicizing and attempting to stop the polygamous activities within the Utah borders, and elsewhere.

    After reading: Mormonism: A Life Under False Pretenses written by Lee B. Baker, a Former LDS Bishop,
    I think I've found my answer.

    After 30 years as an active Mormon, he and his wife began to have questions about the historical accuracy
    and the inconsistencies taught within the LDS,

    A bit of a tough read, (didn't seem to have an editor), as the author occasionally rambles and quite often repeats his LDS information and observations. All of the statements regarding the "dogma" of the LDS are taken from official LDS documents. Especially pertinent to SWB, is the LDS "principle of polygamy"-- it's "on hold" for now, but will be reinstated in the near future.

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  20. I love to read Ed's thoughts! Men who stand up for women (and little girls) are hawt!

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  21. It would seem that both the Browns and the Williams have had long lived marriages that are working for them, regardless of the general opinion on them. I wish the best for both families.

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  22. Jumpin the ToasterSharkOctober 2, 2013 at 11:49 AM

    Just some information about the new polygamy shows:

    Breaking the Faith is produced by the same group that gives up Breaking Amish (both versions) and Amish Mafia. All 3 of those shows are scripted and have no "reality" to them whatsoever. Breaking Amish is "cast" with former Amish, who have been out of the Amish lifestyle on average 5+ years (at least the first one, didn't bother to follow up on the LA version). The premise of watching them experience the real world was all a sham, from being in a big city (NY) to learning how to drive a car (when he had several DUIs), to falling in love for the first time (when they were a couple with a child already). Amish mafia is just as bad, one "cast" member is in a relationship with a black rapper, as opposed to being in a relationship with another Amish mafia "cast" member, the burning of a trailer home as revenge that was actually set up as a fire training exercise through the county, walking into "English" businesses to collect Amish Aid. The examples go on and on. Breaking the Faith is be the same, I can guarantee you. It may be former FLDS members, or non-FLDS family members, or heaven forbid, non FLDS people all together, but none of them will be experiencing life outside of the FLDS for the first time as we watch it on the screen. They might still have their long hair, or it might be extensions, they will wear the prairie dresses while they hide all their "normal" clothes, they will be sent to some "big city" to experience "real life" blah blah blah. They will all have been out for quite some time and this show will all be scripted. It should be interesting for all the sleuths out there to find all the inconsistencies.

    Escaping the Prophet is produced by the same people who do the Hoarders show. I have actually known someone who was on that show, and I can assure you that what you see if real. There is some editing, as my friend says the show cut out a lot of the pushing and prodding that caused her to breakdown, but all in all, she was grateful for the help, and the follow up counseling she received. No one told her what to say, or brought in more stuff to her house to make it seem worse than it was. (I wish they would go to my mothers house.) I have high hopes that this show will actually show what it is like, to help real FLDS "Escape the Prophet".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How disappointing to hear about "Breaking the Faith" producers, but maybe there's hope w/"Escape the Prophet". I'm not holding my breath though.

      Delete
    2. I am. I believe "Escaping the Prophet will be very real- following Flora helping people out.

      Delete
    3. But...won't Breaking the Faith be good fun anyway? Maybe some Lost Boys will get a nice paycheck out of it. Even if scripted, what fun those Breaking Amish kids turned out to be! Some of the interactions with family and the larger Amish community were real. And we got the learn things like even today there are people who will pull all of a teenagers teeth out. Don't forget the smelly church benches they passed around. Did I already say if anything can kill the FLDS, it is reality tv!

      Delete
  23. TOO LITTLE CREDIBILTY (TLC) CHANNEL

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  24. TLC knows exactly what there doing, portray Jeffs as Satan, and Make Kody look like an Angel on earth, it wont matter. they could show him beating his wives and the fans would think they needitfor there constant crying, people don't want facts, they want to be led by the hand every sunday night into there lives which are nothing more then a con and his 4con artist

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  25. I watched "My 5 Wives" and Brody with his nasty feet was sitting on the bed with one of the mistresses (wives yeah right) and she called him a "HORN DOG" what a bunch of perverts they really are and they all want more babies, how disgusting since they have 24 already ... yeah she called him a Horn Dog

    ReplyDelete
  26. I love your blog. I read it daily. I'm facinated with polygamy and watch all shows. I want to make one comment, when the browns refused to talk Bout sex and the personal workings of their lives. This new family have taken a much more open honest approach.
    There were some comments made how gross and innapropriate that was.
    I'm sure this new show decided to "go there" because that's what people wanted to know. How does that really work. At least this family isn't living in denial. The Brown wives can't stand even being in a sisterwives bedroom.
    When you choose that lifestyle it comes with that reality. Part of the consequences of that choice. Maybe its not just cody who needs to put on his grown up underpants.
    Also I have read comments before about people wanting to see them eat together more and work together, this new family is doing far more of that than the Browns.
    Also there were many suggestions about the home Kody could have built for his family. Many of those ideas were exactly what Brady built.
    This lifestyle breeds pain and hurt and insecurities, we saw this in Brady s wives, there were so many comments about how sad they seamed.
    I for one thought finally the truth about polygamy. Even though it was easy to see in the Browns. Its even easier to see in this family.
    Hard as it is to watch, that is polygamy.
    I still can't wrap my mind around women choosing this based on a lifestyle not a religouse conviction.

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  27. Thank you Ed for all you have done. I have read for a while and I have learned that there are other groups than the FLDS out there because of this blog and all the contributions people have made. I really wish TLC would do what they could to at least mention that there are other groups out there. From everyone I have talked to in life and in the cyberworld, they only believe there is the FLDS and that the Brown family has zero ties to religion.

    While I would love to say "well at least I know the truth", I cannot because of all the people who have suffered, are suffering and will be suffering. I have high hopes that My 5 Wives will help shed a small light on the AUB and if Kollene has any involvement with the up and coming shows, she will mention by the Kingston group by name.

    I sadly have come to terms with the fact that the network only cares about money. I understand the truth isn't always profitable, but forcing us to view everything through rose colored glasses is just irresponsible.

    ReplyDelete
  28. If the AUB leaders really want Brady and co to leave Rocky Ridge, then they need to shell out some money to recompense them for the value of the houses they built there. They need to be able to build/buy elsewhere, and that can't happen when their money is tied up in a trust owned operation. Rocky Ridge is super easy to find - you can see it clearly from the I15 freeway, so something tells me that when people start driving around town hoping for a glimpse of the new "reality stars," that money might just miraculously materialize!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very interesting point here, exA.

      Do you think it's a good possibility that when traffic increases near the AUB compound, as a direct result of the Williams' new program, that the AUB security team will do things to discourage the gawkers?

      Delete
    2. Well that would be fun, eh? Bunch of tourists in loud shirts and phone cams getting harassed by...big trucks? Is AUB security anything like flds?

      Delete
  29. Ex AUB, I'm curious about the trust for AUB. It has been published that the FLDS trust is now controlled by a Utah state entity. Is the AUB trust similar to the original FLDS one and if so, who are the trustees? Did the AUB trust have to pay out for the swindle of Virginia ?? or were individuals sued and responsible for their thefts? As with so many shady organizations, "follow the money" would shed a lot of light about what's going on.

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  30. Ed I have really enjoyed reading your posts. I, like many others, had read books and articles about the horrors of the FLDS and I assumed those were the only Mormon Polygamists. When Sister Wives first came on I was surprised to learn there were "normal" polygamists. This blog and further reading have opened my eyes to the extent of this type of lifestyle and the abuses the people suffer for religion. This is very sad and I am glad that I do not subscribe to the Mormon faith at all.

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  31. Returning (briefly) to the topic of remuneration from 'reality TV'. I am researching the Rockland Ranch group for this blog and hope to have something written in the next day or so. As part of my research I am reading posts on a pro LDS polygamy site. A post from just over a year ago was instructive. Here it is:

    Submitted by 4bees on Wed, 10/03/2012 - 02:42. TLC Sister Wives
    Hi,

    My name is Brian and I am a reality TV producer. There is a network wanting us to film a new show based on happy families that practice Polygamy. I honestly wasn't sure where to look, so I decided to join the 4TheFamily forum and just come out and ask. I hope its okay that I'm doing this. If you have any questions, I would be glad to answer them right here in this forum or if they are private questions, you can hit me privately as well.

    Below is the casting call for the show. We would like to begin filming in the next five weeks. Each family involved will be compensated $4k per episode, which is nice. If the ratings are good, the families can renegotiate for the next seasons. We normally run 13 episodes per season. I hope this finds everyone well. Thanks, - Brian

    Casting Notice
    Local Production Company is seeking polygamist families interested in being in reality TV. We are interested in your story and your life. Selected families will be compensated. Please send a description of your family to brian@4beesmedia.com . Include a list of household members and a little bit about each one. Include all contact information in your email.

    We look forward to hearing your story.

    Thanks,

    - Brian
    4 Bees Media

    The web address for this gem is: http://www.4thefamily.us/node/4004

    ReplyDelete
  32. Painting the Roses Red (Alice)October 5, 2013 at 8:02 AM

    I am also very interested in seeing how they handle these new shows. I was very disappointed in the brief treatment of Flora Jessop's story that I saw on the clip having just read Church of Lies. The way TLC tried to re-enact her story while she was telling it seemed to cheapen it for me.  I believe they could have handled it better but that was just a preview so we will see how it turns out. I don't want to be the one to piss off Flora Jessop if she gets done wrong by, I'll tell you that! :). But I also find it interesting how differently Flora Jessop and Rebecca Musser depict Uncle Fred and Aunt Lydia. Has anyone else picked up on this?

    Back to our earlier conversation about "mistresses". Let me make my argument more clear. I will concede that Robyn mainly lives as a mistress. She has never lived with the family, she has taken resources from the family more than contributed, she attempts to manipulate and control the male in the picture, and she was not welcome by the wives. That does more closely resemble a mistress than a wife.

    Now Janelle and Christine, on the other hand, are wives by every definition of the word except legally. And, if you recall, blacks and whites were once not allowed to wed, so the law on this matter should be considered in context with all of the other factors that go into marriage.  In other words, the "law" on private unions should not be the end all, be all.  For example, J and C have spent 20 years committed to the same man.  They have had 6 children each with him. They have shared all of their finances with him. They have shared anniversaries, milestones for their kids, they have lived in the same home together until the move to Vegas.  THAT IS marriage. It does not "more closely resemble" mistresses in the slightest. It's disingenuous to pretend that it does and it is willfully disrespectful to the sanctity of a person's right to choose their own relationship status to imply or outright say so. Ed, I find your obstinance on this issue to be very closed-minded, I must say.  It seems you made up your mind long ago based on your (rightful) loathing of polygamy, the Browns, or both and are unable to see that the situation is far more complex than that. I dislike the Browns immensely but it grates me that you can't separate your dislike from them and polygamy from the decency of respecting what Janelle and Christine have devoted their lives to, namely the despicable creature known as Kody.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Painting the Roses Red (Alice)October 5, 2013 at 8:03 AM

    Sorry, my comment was so long, I had to break it into two. Oops!

    Now, Kody on the other hand...that man is a (in the words of the great Otis Reading) t.r.a.m.p.  But what do we call a man like that? People call the women "mistresses", more than willing to demote, dismiss, and disrespect the commitment they've made to their partner but Kody gets a free pass. He still gets called a "husband" even though he is no kind of husband to any of those women, legal or not.  He is absent, neglectful, runs when things get tough, doesn't help with parenting, doesn't earn a living that could come close to supporting that many children. HE is the one who deserves our disrespect in terms of marital status.  However, he gets the respect of the title of husband while J and C (who have committed their very fiber of being to this family) do not.  I find this offensive. Saying "Kody, the wife, and the mistresses" is disrespecting all the wrong people. Kody gets to still be King Kody, Meri (the legal wife) still doesn't get her own name, and Janelle and Christine get treated like slutty garbage despite their 20 years of solid, wifely commitment. It's probable that Krody is the only one they've ever been with their entire lives and yet we discuss them like "mistresses" which is just a euphemism for home-wrecking whore. Which they have PROVEN they are NOT. Robyn...well...Robyn hasn't earned any respect around here and I won't defend her.  

    so, this has obviously been irking me a lot. I dislike the Browns to an extreme level. All of the research I've been doing has made me aware of how dangerous polygamy is, not just in our country but others.  However, I am able to see the difference between a mistreess and a wife, and I'm able to see that the law just doesn't really matter when you're defining "wife" or "husband". It's how people live and how they view themselves that matters much more on this private and personal issue. 

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It isn't a private and personal issue. They made it public and have all either defrauded the government and tax payers by taking welfare and food stamps.

      And janelle hasn't shown years of wifely commitment, she left several times. And she has had sex with someone else that she knows of because she was formerly married to Meri's brother. And Janelle is an adulterous woman. She bragged on taking the husband of another woman.

      Delete
  34. Princess&ThePeaOctober 6, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    Ed it does seem you are very negative about the field you are in. Hopefully you can write us something just as you would if you were writing. Sadly, i wished you liked the shows we do.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I assert that I am "interested" in the show "Sister Wives" out of curiosity. To say that I "liked" the show would be stating something ENTIRELY different.
    I am curious about the Centennial Park group, which is purportedly devoid of the major negative issues of the other plyg groups. Does anyone have any further info about that group? ("I'm curious what makes you so curious")

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    Replies
    1. Centennial Park has been discussed here in several posts. From their genealogy to the show Polygamy USA, just Google the blog to the right for many things CP. One thing that sticks out to me is that they are self sufficient, not leaning on the welfare as other groups do.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Mister Sister! (really, thanks for responding to what must be "old hat")
      Ah! Research...I guess I was just looking for some instant gratification.
      I have not seen "Polygamy USA" (not part of my cable package) but I take it that it covers this Centennial Park group...a missing link.

      Delete
  36. Anon 12:17 who responded to my earlier post.... I'm a little confused but I believe what you're saying is that you disagree with me because 1) the Brown women have listed themselves 'single' in order to get government benefits and 2) that Janelle left Kody once (just once is that right those better informed than I?) so that means she wasn't committed. As to the "adulterous woman" comment, I assume you mean Robyn because she's the only one I've seen gloating about stealing time with the man-child away from the other wives.

    So I totally agree with you that they have bled the beast, are as unscrupulous as it gets, lie as easily as they breathe, and are basically leeches on society in every sense of the word (except literal). And they have manipulated the fact they are not legally married to gain more benefits. I hate that they've done that. It's bullshit and I resent it and I would be ashamed to do something like that. If they are a family, then they need to act as one: namely, stop having kids they can't afford knowing they can play the system and get free money. HOWEVER, it is Kody and Meri (the legal couple) who have done the LEAST in terms of acting appropriately as a married couple. Janelle has earned a living and kept a roof over their heads. Christine has cared for the children, even if that did involve a lot of scary brainwashing. Janelle and Christine have acted as wives. Kody has acted as a whore. And Meri has acted as a welfare queen, married to a loser. Oh wait, I guess they've all three done that. But Meri has contributed the least. And she's a loser too because she holds out her hands and demands, but doesn't work.

    So, Janelle and Christine in no way resemble mistresses. Janelle taking a break for a year or so does not mean she hasn't committed her entire adult life to Kody. It means she took a break. Lots of married couples do that, it should not bring her commitment into question since she ultimately returned.

    Marriage is a personal matter. It is also a legal one. The legal aspects change, and are even now being challenged due in large part to their antiquated bigotry. It is logical that we should allow people to define their own personal relationships when not signing legal documents. Obviously, legally, Meri and Kody are the only two married. But, in the real sense, in the commitment sense, in the heart sense, only Janelle and Christine are. Meri would be if she were a monogomist, but polygamy has broken and disfigured her. Robyn does act as a mistress, not a wife, or maybe a really unwelcome stepmother at best. So I defibitely see that one.

    Also, having sex with more than one person does not make you a whore. It does make you an adulterer ONLY if sleeping with/ dating others is not agreed upon in your relationship or marriage. (hence why I called Kody a whore since his dating of Robyn was unwelcome in his established family). But Janelle having sex with her ex husband before marrying Kody is not adultery. Different religions have different opinions on this, but fact is, it is not adultery what Janelle did because adultery has varied definitions that depend on culture and context. Since she did not deceive anyone, and most importantly because it is not HER belief that it was adultery, it is not adultery.

    I think we really need a word for a man who is no kind of husband, but flits around from committed woman to committed woman, taking the good, ignoring the bad, and congratulating himself on a job well done. Kody has not earned the title of "husband". Real men like my husband have, and Kody is doing them a disservice by claiming that title. But unfortunately, in our society, we tend to laud men for such atrocious behavior, while women who have committed their entire lives to one man are called mistresses because they lack a piece of paper people like Brittany Spears can get after 2 hours of drinking with an old guy friend.

    ReplyDelete